Drug Medical Information

OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS: THE MINISTER'S DAUGHTER

For many years I was unhappy, overweight, depressed, prone to headaches and backaches, snappy with my children, sulky with my husband and certain that I had no friends I could call "good friends."

Today, I am at a good weight, healthy, positive about the future, certain that I made the best possible choice of husbands, proud of my children and blessed with many good friends, including several who are very special. The twelve-step program has made the difference in my life. The simple, no-nonsense approach to living which I have acquired through the Fellowship of Overeaters Anonymous has given me a life that is beautiful, fun, exciting and spiritually satisfying.

I was raised in a loving and happy home. My father is a retired Baptist minister, well-loved and respected by many. During his years as a church pastor, I was proud of being the minister's daughter. Somehow I knew, even then, that I had been blessed. Some of my friends were poorly treated, severely punished for seemingly inconsequential reasons; I had no such complaints. My parents were fair, honest and open, and they disciplined us by allowing us to suffer the consequences of our own deeds.

I am the oldest of three children. I got along well in school; I wasn't the smartest but I held my own in classes and I enjoyed school. After high school, my parents felt that I was too young for college, so I worked for a year while living at home, and then attended drama school in Chicago for a year. Eventually, I did go to college, graduating with a degree in psychology and education and a teaching certificate. I worked for two years as secretary to a psychologist at a large university, testing college students and helping with research papers.

I married the boy I had dated since high school and taught kindergarten for four years before leaving to await the birth of our first child. Five and one half years later, I had four children and 60 extra pounds. What difference did it make? I was home with the children where I wanted to be, and I didn't need to be thin anymore. It was obvious to me that God planned for me to be a large woman and anyway, I really didn't care that much.

As the children grew older and didn't need the minute-to-minute care, I began to look at myself more closely. I didn't like what I saw. I didn't like the way I felt, either. The headaches were a recurring event, lasting from twenty-four to thirty-six hours and making me unbearable to live with. My night-eating syndrome was both sneaky and scary: I would outwait my husband every night, knowing that his going to bed was an invitation for me to start eating. I knew this was wrong, but I was on a relentless treadmill and I didn't know how to get off.

I went to my first Overeaters Anonymous meeting as soon as I was back on my feet after a thrombophlebitis convalescence. I had a chip on my shoulder: "It won't work. Nothing ever did." I was convinced that one meeting would be enough to show me what it was all about. I had tried two popular weight-losing clubs and just about every diet printed.

I found that fat was not my only problem. For many years, I felt I was not capable of doing anything right. I stayed away from groups that seemed to be close and sharing with the excuse that I was busy with the children and didn't have time for such nonsense. I never visited in others' homes; I might "bother" them. Others never visited my home; what's the matter, did they need an invitation?

I was not willing to do the footwork that is needed to have a good friend. If people did not come to me with open arms, I could not handle the risk involved in going to them.

The twelve-step program pulled out all the props under these problems. It has let me see that I was living a self-centered, self-defeating life.

My first six months in OA involved a diet, pure and simple. I have since accepted the fact that I had to handle the physical side of this program first. It was important to me to get those pounds off, to feel good physically. It was not a good abstinence as such, for when the weight was almost all off I began to think to myself, "There, I've got this thing licked; OA is really great, it helped me lose and now I'm normal again."

A painful year of progressive relapse followed. After I had regained about half the weight, I realized that my experience did not make me a failure. Nor was the program a failure. I got out the Big Book and really read it. I committed myself to abstinence; yes, that was the right way to say it. I decided what my abstinence would be, and I committed myself to eating (and not eating) by that plan.

I also committed myself to study and service - and to the twelve steps. The pattern for living that they set is so remarkable that I am constantly amazed by the wisdom of the people who formed them. There is a logical progression from acceptance to surrender to action; from clearing away the past to building daily practices for the future; from learning what the message is myself to being willing to share that message with others.

I was brought up in a minister's home, but it took OA to show me how to turn my life and my will over to the care of God on a daily basis. I was ready for Overeaters Anonymous and when it came to me I opened my soul and mind to it. I lost the weight and gained peace and serenity. I lost my depressions and gained the expectancy of each new day. I lost my feeling that I had no friends, for I gained a nationwide Fellowship of "instant" friends and many close, special friends as well as a sponsor who knows me inside and out and loves me anyway!

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